This last month of pregnancy has been the worst in several ways. Mainly it’s the emotional and mental roller coaster that has made it so difficult to endure. I know that the due date really doesn’t mean a whole lot, and I knew it from early on. But when everyone asks you when you are due and you repeat that date time and time again, it starts to hold a special place in your heart. Practically everyone I know said you’ll never make it to your due date. I’m not exactly sure why they said this. My best guess is because I’m a tiny person and my belly looks gigantic on me. How does that really affect my chances for delivering early though? Yet after hearing so many people say it, I started to believe it. And when I reached the last month and found myself more uncomfortable than ever, I really, really wanted them to all be right. And yet, here I am, just 4 days from my due date. I don’t know if I’ll make it, but it stands to reason that my chances are pretty good. Sigh.

I had high hopes for week 38…not sure why. A lot of women said that first babies come 2 weeks early. I’m not really sure what kind of studies they’re quoting, but when you’re ready to meet your little one, you’ll start to hope for anything. Week 38 came and went and still no baby Goldstein. So, I had high hopes for April 17 or the full moon closest to our due date. But, alas, that also came and went. I would have high hopes for today (our original due date before they measured baby at the first sonogram and pushed it back to the 23rd), but I don’t feel like getting my hopes up for the big event anymore. Instead, I’ve almost taken the stance that it really will happen when it happens, and there’s very little that I can do to change that. Ah, acceptance…well, almost.

Each day is hard. Waking up and still being pregnant is mentally draining. Plus, I’m tired…all the time. And when I am awake, I really only think of baby, the delivery, and if when it’s finally going to happen. That in itself is pretty taxing. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot to keep me distracted. My calendar stands pretty empty as everyone must be assuming I’m too close and too pregnant to want to do anything. Or maybe everyone is just busy with life at the moment. Either way, I’m at home being too fat and tired to do much to distract myself. Plus, everything for baby was completed already. We didn’t want to do any last-minute stuff incase baby came early.

The worst part is what happens if I do go beyond my due date. If I’m still pregnant after Saturday, I’ll be stressing big time. For one, Bryan’s parents are flying in on my due date. They hope there’s a baby Goldstein to love all over for a week. If not, we’re all hoping that they’ll be here for the delivery which in all honesty is a good possibility if I do go overdue. My birthing teacher said the average birth (with no interventions) goes 41 weeks, 1 day. Um, yeah, they’d miss it by one day. Wow. That would majorly suck. The other thing that makes going overdue so stressful about going overdue is that if we do happen to hit week 42 we will no longer be able to give birth at the birthing center. That is the scariest scenario of all. I won’t even allow myself to think this way. We just have to have baby Goldstein there (well, unless there’s an emergency).

So, there’s still time, and the birthing center has some tricks up their sleeve if we do go overdue, but let’s all send positive thoughts my way and will the baby to make his move very soon. Everyone is waiting to meet you, baby Goldstein. Plus, several babies that were due after you have already made their appearance. Just like your mother, you’re taking your sweet time. You get it honest, but it’s not really appreciated at the moment. 🙂

In other news:

Please pray for my grandfather who suffered a stroke 2 days ago while working on his tractor (the giant kind) and fell quite some distance onto the shop floor (concrete). The stroke seems to have been mild. My father saw none of the facial signs that many stroke victims have. That is good. He has a broken wrist, nose, and eye socket from the fall as well as longs of bangs and bruises. He had some bleeding on the brain which the neurologist thinks came from the stroke and not the fall. The doctor didn’t seem to think surgery was necessary for it. He should be moved to a regular room today out of ICU. I guess all of this sounds good for him, but the whole thing is just very upsetting. He doesn’t remember the fall and doesn’t know how long he lay unconscious. It could have been much worse. I wonder if this man, who works 7 days a week from sun-up to sun-down, will learn to slow it down a little? I really hope so. Working is all I’ve ever known him to do. He’s the single hardest working person I’ve ever known. Pray for my entire family as well especially my grandmother who has to take care of him. She’s probably the 2nd hardest working person I’ve ever known. They’re clearly raised in a time where laziness was non-existent. They raised 3 children and then me. I can’t even imagine!

Recent Pics:

Mallos caught sleeping

Bryan

Things I’m Diggin’ at the moment:

The iPhone app called Say What You See. It’s a really cool game of a giant puzzle filled with 50 answers to categories like Romantic Comedies and US TV Dramas. You’ll have to check it out to see just how cool it is.