We have less than a week until our first prenatal appointment. Tuesday can not come quickly enough. I’m dying to find out what’s going on inside of my body, and I’m also terrified to find out. Everyday…all day…these reoccurring thoughts just go round and round in my head. I’ll have to say that I’ve had many positive days since my last post. However, I still hit lows where I cry and worry. I’m so anxious to just know. In the meantime, I’m sticking to what I can do, and I put lots of faith in that. And I pray that it’ll all work out. I’ve still been reading some websites and forums which has actually been nice, but I’m staying far away from anything labeled miscarriage. I’m actually already showing. From what I can tell from other women’s postings, the small framed women report showing quicker. Right now I look either just fat or way more than 7 weeks, 2 days. I don’t care…I embrace a belly.

We’ve already collected quite a bit of baby items. Having all this baby stuff really drives home the fact that there is in fact a child growing inside of me right now. So far we’ve collected:

• Eddie Bauer stroller w/infant seat snap in – NEW
• Eddie Bauer play pen w/bassinet – NEW
• umbrella stroller
• used stroller
• crib
• highchair
• car seat/booster seat
• crib mattress
• bedding
• books
• toys
• onesies
• diapers
• a Halloween costume
• rocking horse

It’s a random collection, but it’s all very welcome. I really don’t want have to spend a ton of money on things that will only be used for a short time. Some of these things we traded our old iPhones for and some was graciously given to me from an old coworker. It’s all greatly appreciated. My mom said she was going to leave a box of stuff from my childhood as well as my younger siblings’ childhood at my grandparent’s house. I probably won’t be seeing that until Christmas, but I’m excited to get my hands on some stuff that has meaning to me. Some of the things I may end up leaving at Bryan’s grandmother’s house. It would be nice to have a crib and highchair over there. I certainly don’t want to have to pack up the entire house every time we visit.

So far I haven’t really had any morning sickness. I’ve felt queasy now and then, but I haven’t had the urge to throw-up. I find that if I let me stomach get too empty, it goes haywire. Now it matches the rest of my body. 🙂 My sleeping is all messed up to. It’s a little cruel that the hormone that makes you sleepy during the day can keep you up at night. I’m finding this to be too true lately. There’s little that I can do about it though. I’m not complaining…just stating the facts. I don’t care what pregnancy throws at me as long as I get to hold my baby at the end of it.

On another note, though not a happy one, we are desperately trying to find our cat, OC, a new home. He has been aggressive toward our other cat, Bella, for some time now. It’s gotten to the point where Bella can no longer live her life without constant fear of his aggression. She often stays outside without eating or drinking. And when she is inside, she stays planted on her cushion of the couch. I hate seeing her living in fear. I also hate to give up one of our family members, but we’ve trying everything within reason. If anyone reading this would like to give OC a new home or knows of someone that would, please let us know. He only shows aggression toward Bella. He has never been aggressive toward the other 2 cats. I think he’d do just fine around other cats, dogs, and children though he’s never been exposed to toddlers and under. He’d be an amazing companion for an elderly person or someone who is home a lot. He loves attention. He greets all of our visitors and is ready to purr at the slightest pet. He even purrs at the vet’s office! He’s so sweet and easy going. He makes a great cuddle buddy. He really is a fantastic cat, and he’s fixed and litter box trained. What more could you ask for? Please help us find him a good home. We need to get our house back to a calm state ASAP.

Lastly for the moment, my match with Nathaniel my little brother in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program has reached it’s year anniversary (tomorrow). I have decided that with the baby and our business, I don’t think I can give the relationship the time and attention that it deserves. I won’t be continuing the match. I’m sad, but I really do feel this is the best thing for me. I have a lot on my plate right now. However, because Nathaniel is 12 and we stayed together for a year, he’ll be receiving a scholarship to college. I’m really happy to have given him this opportunity. I hope to maybe be a big again in the future, but for now I need to focus on my own family. I hope that he understands. I’m saddened by this, but again…it’s for the best.